2004-06-14 6:29 p.m.
holebrat21 Username/Diary Title [2/5] - Your username gives me the impression that it's a little mischievous boy's diary because of the word 'brat'. I wouldn't click on it unless I'm really bored, and that was what I did one fine day when I saw your review posted at Duct Tape Reviews, and boy, was I surprised that it contained a woman's writing! So anyway, I don't know what 'holebrat' means, and I don't exactly like the number 21 at the back either. Your diary title is worse. Surely you can do better than a single word like 'poppies'? First Impression [9/10] - As I've said, I went to your diary before and this was your first entry. Seriously, I got sucked in by your writing at that moment and started reading your diary from entry no.1 to that current one, and that was what propelled me to review your diary. That particularly entry, my gosh, I was amazed at your way of expressing yourself in words, and in one entry I felt as if I've learnt about the most important details of your life so far, from dropping school to now married with 3 kids. With this current layout(which is much better than the ones you had previously), your interesting life and your way of expressing yourself, I'm sure it'll be a pleasure reviewing you. Content [37/40] - That first entry I read got me really interested in your life, and so I started reading from your first entry all the way till that one, and now I'm going to read your diary all over again. We all are, more often than not, sick of the daily grudge. I can relate to you in this entry because my life is just as routined as yours. Nevertheless, I agree that it is still something to be thankful for, as you're right that a) at least we do have a life, and b) we should not take anything for granted. I think getting married and having kids made you grow up a lot. I can see from this entry. You strike me as a responsible person, be it mother or wife, because I know there are very few young ladies of your age who can do the same as you do. With marriage and children comes a kind of responsibility that ordinary girls do not have, and by having that I think you are a very mature person. However, your later entries show that you want to just leave like that, and I don't think that's very responsible of you. No mothers who leave their children is responsible. You do have your occasional day-logs, but most of them are fine as I've said, I'm interested in your life. I'm thinking that it's the three-kids-and-you're-only-21 fact. I'm not mocking at you, serious! In fact, I don't think you're contributing to the statistics like you said in this entry, because I think that you're a great mother who not only doesn't abandon your babies(seriously, that's what teenagers usually do nowadays if they get pregnant), but work hard to make ends meet(even if it's just minimum wage) and most importantly, you love your children. I think that's really great. I was sad to read that you cut yourself. I never understood why people cut themselves. Does it really solve your problems and make life easier? I think it only leaves more scars on you. You express yourself well. By reading your diary, I feel as if I know you in real life, or maybe even more as some entries were filled with depth and emotion that I don't think you would actually say to anyone. Maybe one day when life gets better you'll read this diary from beginning to that day and realize that all those harder days were meant to make you stronger. Remember that there's always sunshine after storm, and if you're lucky, you may even get a rainbow too. Layout [27/30] - I'm glad I didn't have to review your previous layouts because I think I would have too much to comment on. This layout, however, is simple yet elegant. A pretty flower against white text box, with the background color being almost the same as the flower. Colours perfectly matched, a well-chosen image, everything is neat and organized. But if I were you, I would do away with the 'go' button so that once a reader clicks on the link, it would bring her/him to the destination. The reason for that is because I thought that the 'go' button seemed out of place. Ah, and even the colour of the navigation bar and the text suit the entire layout. There's just another thing. I don't think the type of font you used is nice. Perhaps a smaller sized verdana or arial would be better? I don't know; it's up to you, and other than that, everything is just fine. I like the layout very much. Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary [4/5] - Almost perfect, a few insignificant mistakes here and there. Contact [4/5] - Comments, aim, notes. You're almost there. Extra Things [3/5] - Cast, reviews, surveys. You can certainly do better to let your reader know more about you(if you want to, that is.) Level of: This is where we determine the levels of certain things in your diary. [on a scale of 1-10]
Three Words - Carnation, Mature, Depressed Your Song - The Day You Went Away by M2M P.S. I hope you decide against leaving. Total Score: [86+5(bonus for mentioning Modest Mouse in your request)/100] = [91/100] Reviewed by Celine previous | next |
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